From many years prior, remained a strong desire. I could have gone before with my in-laws. But herein lies the problem and flaws... I insisted on going alone, Wanted to be a character, unknown. I could have gone with my mother. She went few years before with some others. She promised she'd let me sit away on my own. But I knew I would not be able to be in the zone. I turned down opportunities to go with them all. Didn't want it to be like a picnic or a trip to the mall. It was already very difficult to co-ordinate. Find some space and time that would be appropriate. Timings and matching schedules. Among the taunts and ridicule. Finally, my mom said, "Just go!". She booked everything, you know. I wouldn't waste her money and efforts. No matter how much the discomfort. She refused payment from me. Booked everything six months in advance, you see. Later, the schedule didn't seem feasible. But for her sake I went, however unreasonable. I'm entitled to unlimited free air tickets. About an hour and few minutes. Just the taxes is what I would pay, If I chose a particular airline all the way. But I wanted to be part of a travel group, simultaneously insisting on an unknown troop. To ensure the room bookings were already done. I'd been there before; I knew the ruckus and fun. As planned, before I even reached, I managed to keep myself discreet. Mentally prepared to not interact. Wouldn't speak, no information to extract. No real talk, nothing to reveal. Nothing about me, that was my deal. I was going to pray and be alone with God. No friends, no strings, no distractions, no façade. I was vague with all of my replies. Almost like an undercover cop in disguise. To the typical meet-and-greet interrogations, I told no lies, just classic and vague avoidance. I gave them answers with no answers. Like the impromptu steps of a lunatic dancer. The entire time there, I remained a mystery. Eventually succumbed to being a listening ear, but none of my history. Train journey, I knew what to expect. Nothing fancy; plain, not decked. As good as travelling alone. To watch out for my own. Minimal baggage, metal chain attached to me. Holding it whilst sleeping on it as a pillow, tightly. I let them have my seat, exchanged my coveted berth below. Nothing more to exchange or offer....the plan, you know! With a one track mind, here only to find... ...the man in the clouds, or something about His whereabouts. No friends, no family, no work, no chores. No comfort, no luxury, not pre-occupied, no happiness, no tears. The perfect mental state. I went as a blank slate. Anyway, at the station, the train would not stop too long. So all were prepared, at the entrance thronged. With my bag, I was all ready. A day's journey, still steady. But identified as a young, able-bodied person. So my condition did worsen. Old people with three, four and five bags. All set to make me lag. But I had a plan! No attachments, no clan. I did my part, travelled light. Easy to manage and all, right? If you cannot manage a single bag, so many of them why did you tag? After a handful, I didn't look back to help the whole gang. I strolled my bag shamelessly; my back ain't a Mustang. Reluctantly helping those around me. All along thinking, it's not my responsibility. I ain't no coolie. You should have packed smartly. I ain't here to smile and greet, or behave like a heavy weight athlete. Or make small talk and friends. Stay away from me; I'm trying to cleanse. I'll stick to my plan. I don't need a middleman. That's how I reached Potta. Without fellowship or friends, not an iota. ....to be continued! -RUELHA www.ruelha.com © Copyright Protected. All Rights Reserved. This is the second part. Click here to read the first: The book that came to me #1
That’s me at a serene corner in the retreat centre. I found a place that needed some climbing and jumping to get to…to isolate myself at the lake during breaks. If you’re wondering who took this pic, it’s a kid who kept following me around and refused to leave my side.