There was a time Relationships matured like wine They always blossomed into something concrete And the circuit would always be complete Those were innocent days And people had honest ways But times have changed Just like marriages are less arranged I grew up believing if they've had more than one They're Casanova, womanizers or just for fun So, everyone should end up with their childhood sweetheart And there would be no replacement for that part Love was meant to be eternal Feelings were never expected to be situational Engagements were supposed to be perpetual And love was never meant to be conditional There was a time I thought it were a crime If you broke up with someone I'd point at them with the judgement gun But, today I look around and see Most married people aren't really happy Most committed people are actually miserable Cursing themselves for that decision, feeling terrible Most are just fulfilling their responsibility Or habituated to the farce of stability And then, they pray and wait for the other to die Or their own spirits to ascend into the skies If relationships don't culminate into marriage And thereafter, within a year or two - a carriage It's wrong, apparently And unacceptable to society Even worse, if you walk out of something toxic They'd rather prefer you suffer being hypoxic Instead of breaking off an engagement or marriage The trauma is worse than that associated with a miscarriage But, today I believe 'conscious dating' could be the solution As long as people have similar expectations And since nothing really can be guaranteed or a permanent decision People should regularly review their expectations and emotions Life is not a race And if you don't produce kids, it'll not be a waste There's so much more to life Than just acquiring a husband or wife Dating should not be rushed with intent to marry only But, you and your partner must be in sync with intentions honestly There's nothing wrong with two cosenting adults As long as your expectations match each other's pulse The problem arises when there is dishonesty Because someone's going to get hurt surely If you want an open relationship or an open marriage, don't lie about it There are plenty of people who would prefer honesty to a hypocrite Do you desire to have children? Or will it be siuational-dependent? Always discuss things like the expected living situation As fundamental differences can cause a lot of frustration There are many things that can work with sacrifice and adjustment But fundamental differences can drain the soul leading to discontentment Sure, most things really cannot be planned But if your partner has the maturity, discuss aspirations beforehand So, I came up with this concept of 'conscious dating' It involves reviewing your own and the other's feelings Checking out fundamentals and conducting an expectations match So there's lesser hurt, better closure, and understanding in case you detach Honesty is always the best policy You can't build a relationship on fallacy And even if you're in it just for the fun Find someone with similar motives, why hurt innocent ones! People expect different things at different stages in their lives It doesn't mean a man's bad if he is unlikely to take a wife But, if he is certain he doesn't want a relationship with emotion He must find someone with similar motives and expectations In fact, I feel it is foolish to enter into a relationship with absolute commitment When you attach labels instantly to the wrong person, it could be malignant If one is open to a commitment, in case things graduate well As long as things develop positively and the other person doesn't feel compelled Why not, sure, put a label on it But there's no reason to rush to comit Until then, concentrate on being and making each other happy Prioritize your goals, yourself, your career, education, and family And when you feel you found the right person Go ahead, think, and make a rational decision Think about their speech, routine, habits, lifestyle, beliefs, principles, values, and goals Their nature, personality type, expenses, social network will affect your living situation on the whole We usually have greater tolerance towards things that are temporary But when we share a living space, tiny quirks disrupt the peace within our sanctuary It becomes more essential to recognize red flags Before you attach hardcore labels or irreversible tags But, once you decide to comit You must see that you fulfil your bit Because feelings can be fleeting But, a commitment is about decision-keeping Because it's a whole lot more painful when you make promises A lot of collateral damage to extended and innocent provinces It's better to take your time before you make that decision Identify red flags, figure out what is negotiable and what needs immovable precision If you fall out of love, or feel unsatisfied emotionally, mentally, or even physically Address those issues, attempt to resolve them or/and walk out gracefully You have an option, a viable exit strategy You don't owe your life to a broken or miscalculated fantasy Delayed or non-commitment does not imply your partner does'nt value you It does not necessarily mean they are cheating, playing around, or rejecting you They may just have too many things on their plate Maybe your'e not a priority, maybe you are; that's your debate But, it does not necessarily mean the person is not invested in you They may have professional aspirations, personal commitments, that too Relationships are a two-way street Until you're married, nothing's concrete If it gets monotonous or you're not happy anymore Until you're commited, you have freedom to walk out that door Whatever you do, be honest, convey your feelings and thoughts openly Respect the other person; don't stab, cheat or hurt anybody
- RUELHA www.ruelha.com © Copyright Protected. All Rights Reserved
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