What do you want to be?

What do you want to be, honey?
I want to be Steffi!
The tennis player who was hot news at that time
I didn't even crave a racquet and didn't give a dime
I hadn't even cared to watch a single game
To date, with sports and me, the equation's the same

What do you want to be, honey?
I want to be a really good doctor
For grand-daddy to be able to cure
He was bed-ridden and I thought some new medicine I'd discover
And with my innovation and ingenuity, he'd comepletely recover

What do you want to be, honey?
I just want to be someone who finds a genie
And I'll wish for a purse that auto-replaces what's been removed
Can you imagine how many notes there'd be with the same serial numbers? My plan was rather crude

What do you want to be, honey?
Michael Jackson, I want to marry
Oh, do'nt smirk! Remember Black or White, the moonwalk?
That casette played on my walkman round the clock

When I saw Titanic, I despised Kate Winslet
To Jack Dawson, we can all agree, I'd be a better fit!
I'd never let the love of my life drown or freeze
I'd lay my own life for the blue-eyed hunk in the deep seas

At some point, I wanted to be Hritik's girlfriend
And then, Sahhid Kapoor seemed godsent
Of course, Tom Cruise and Keanu Reeves
And after I shed those dried leaves
I watched the movie Troy
And I fell madly in love with that boy
 
I watched that movie over eighteen times at a stretch
I still remember every dialogue; in memory it's been etched
And then all I wanted to be was Breseis
Just so I could have few days to love that rustic raw face
Sure, for love; but in a few days he dies 
Leaving her pining for him, forever to cry

Then a close friend of mine wanted to be a fashion designer
I'd never heard of the term, was still a tiny minor
I asked her what it involved and she told me they make pretty clothes for people
I'd rather be the model wearing the pretty clothes instead of struggling with threads and needles

But then suddenly right from my pre-teens until my second job
Obsessed with designing, until the time I met my heartthrob
I'd won several small-time designing competitions
Even cleared the entrance exams for NIFT, fashion designing was a serious obsession
I would draw hundreds of silhouettes each and every day
All of my books had scribbles, that's all I did throughout class, all day
I went for several sewing classes; I was all in. No backup alternative
People still ask me when I bump into old friends, part of those years so formative

After my designing craze, if you repeated that same question to me
When I had a boyfriend, his oxygen I wanted to be
I know you want to laugh, but every aspiration I dealt with passionately
I'm an extreme case, so I handled each one with full intensity

Being a flight attendant was just my back up plan
And right there, eventually I did land
After that, I just wanted to be in the shadow of somebody
I believe I played that role extremely well and fulfilled my responsibility
I really delved  into cooking, organizing, and planning
Trying to balance people, home, peace, joy with understanding

And then, the normal dreams of having a loving home and kids
And much later, I became hardcore Christian, so why not a writer-evangelist
My God, my Jesus was my each and every thing
Without Him in every micro second, I could'nt my life, be living

Then I suddenly started writing, and it became my life
Two years since I shocked myself with the poetry pen-knife
Just like everything I do, this is an obsession too
I've always been an extreme case, balance I never knew

Then if you remember, openly I declared I wanted to be a magazine editor
And that too came right into my lap as if I were getting a pedicure
Sure, I worked seven days a week, all night and day
And being a startup, they owe me arrears; they never did pay

And then it seemed as if secretarial jobs were all that could have been
But somehow on content writing, I kept insisting
Months of no pay and some months a maximum of three thousand
Yes, you read that right; it's below the poverty-line and highly insufficient

But through it all, money was never the discerning factor
It was always based on passion and feelings; I'm no actor
It's not like I have major financial backing
I just base such decisions on my gut feeling

But ask me today about what I want to be
And I'll tell you plain and simple - I want to be HAPPY!
I believe one must follow their heart, and money will come automatically
Sure, a home, love, kids, a great career; but above all these
I put a premium on freedom, learning, and peace

And to be be quite honest, these are just requisites to the ultimate goal
My ultimate goal is to be HAPPY and whole
I'm happy when I feel free
Within acceptable limits, I can myself be
Or topics of interest when I'm learning and researching
I like physiology, hormones, the immune system, nutrition, observing people, formulating behaviour patterns and travelling
I'd hate to be complacent and stagnating; I constantly seek things that are mentally-stimulating
However bad the experience may be, I can justify it if it leads to learning
I'm happy when I'm at peace and when on fascinating topics, I'm writing
But ask me today about what I really want to be
And I'll tell you upfront, I JUST WANT TO BE HAPPY!
- RUELHA
www.ruelha.com
© Copyright Protected. All Rights Reserved

Disclaimer: This poem is purely literary. Please read it with an open mind and out of respect for the written word. To me, writing is my life. There is nothing I love more. I have a very creative imagination. Most of my poems do not hint at my life/situation. Kindly refrain from drawing such parallels. Much of what I write is purely fictional. Situations and examples may be hypothetical. I have always written about topics I am passionate about – Christianity, makeup, melancholic poetry, food, romance, women’s issues, soulful music, narratives, etc. Given the circumstances, my gender, situation, geography, etc., I feel the need to put up a disclaimer! Everyone is entitled to an opinion. But, please don’t interpret this poem in a disrespectful manner. Please extend me the grace of excusing typos if you notice any. I seldom ever edit due to time constraints. My written material may have references to various substances, none of which I promote. My writings contain material that may be unsuitable for children.

6 Comments

  1. Happy a great buzzword and someone could be everlasting happy or a chimera. Take care Rue and when i was young i was astronaut or guitar man in a band 😉😉😉😘👍👍

    Like

  2. The best advice I ever heard was from one of my bosses decades ago.

    He said; “If you don’t like what you’re doing then do something else.”

    He was very depressed at that time as his business was struggling and he was feeling whimsical.

    Twenty years on his business is going gangbusters yet his words from that time are so very apt. In the meantime I retired and wish I was doing something else. 🙂

    Like

  3. SMiLes Dear Rue i Wanna Be The Color

    Blue So Much More Than Only A Star

    For Imagine How Drab the World

    Will Be if Only Sun

    And No

    Blue Skies

    Engulfing the BLacK Above

    And True i Wanna Engulf the
    World With Smiles Shining my

    Blue Skies Equally on Friend or Foe

    i Kid You Not Only Yesterday Someone Complained

    That my Blue Skies Are Excessive and Pretentious

    Yet my True FRiEnDS Love the Color Blue

    And Never Tire of my Blue Skies

    For Them Yet That is

    The ParT of my

    ART That Not Everyone
    Feels and ‘See’S And That’s Okay

    As It’s True Not Everyone Loves How Deep

    Blue Skies Cover the Earth True Everywhere i Go

    i Wanna make Folks Smile With my Blue Skies Without
    Even Saying a Word So It’s True Singing is Not Enough For Blue

    Skies to Please

    So A SKy LEarned

    How to Dance Blue Free on
    The Earth to Bring SMiLes More

    to Youth at Least iN Every Store Blue
    Skies Still Meets Expanse of Youthful Soul SKEYeS

    Still Appreciating The Color of Blue Skies Free So Deep

    And True i Wanna Always Be Inspired By Other Blue Skies

    too And It’s TRue Dear Rue Every Day i See Your Brown Eyed

    Deepest Poetry my Blue

    To Green Skies

    of SKEYeS Always

    Smile as i See Someone

    With Skies of Bluest Imagination

    Like me too And i Don’t Feel Like the
    Only Blue Sky in the World Anymore So

    Hi-Five i am So Glad i Met Another Blue Sky in this World…

    Thanks Giving For Giving The Greatest Gift A Smile if i Made You

    Happy Today

    And Anyone

    Else i Will

    Die With A Happy Smile
    on my Face Understanding

    That This Gift of Blue SKeYeS is
    Enough Whole Naked And Complete

    And i Don’t Need An ‘Angel And Jimmy Stewart’

    To Show me “It’s A Wonderful Life” as i Took Pictures

    of the Smiles i Brought to Thousands of Faces And They

    Were Only a Drop in a Bucket of the Blue Skies i’ve Brought

    To Folks All Around the Globe For You See There WaS A Day

    Yes an Eternity of

    Time Then Now

    When My Skies

    Were Only

    Dark No Sun

    No Blue No Memory

    of if i ever Smiled At All

    True This is what Happened

    When Blue Skies Went Away for

    66 Months The Gift Was Just one Smile

    One Laugh Returning Reborn in me And Honestly

    It’s Not Much of A Sacrifice At All to Bring Blue Skies to

    The World Around me in Fact it is Thanks Giving For Giving

    Every Day

    AS Heaven

    Spreads A Blue

    Sky For All Within

    FRiEnD or Foe For Both

    Those Capable and Not Capable

    of Feeling Blue SKEYeS i Spread Dear FRiEnD…

    Again Come What May The Greatest Gift is to Spread

    Blue SKeYeS

    oF LoVE For

    All That’s

    Real As The

    Yellow Sun the
    Blue SKeYeS Above

    Serve Each And Every

    One Of Us Each Day Whether

    Covered By Clouds or Not the Same

    It’s A matter of Being Able to ‘See’ Again my

    FRiEnD With EYeS of The Children Who Still See Me…

    -Mr. Blue Skies

    Hehe With a Little Help

    From the ‘Electric Light Orchestra’

    And ‘The Fifth Beatle’ Who Also Helped

    Raise A Stone Statue in Burial Grounds

    Just a Bust of A Man Back to Life on my

    “SGT. Pepper’s Album Cover” of Both

    Death in Life

    And

    Life Before Death

    Blue Skies Do Carry on mY FRiEnD…

    May i Humbly Pass this Baton onto You Please…

    For We Must Keep This Olympic Torch of Love Free For All..:)

    -SMiLes

    ~SMiLinG
    So Hard i Cry ALiVE

    Like

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