The Noose

So I caught up with a few acquaintances and girlfriends
And finally, few city girls are willing to make amends
But before I begin, I must tell you I'm not a feminist
With the dilution of the term, I'm not a fundamentalist

I believe in equality, but men and women are definitely different
Each has a set of uniqueness, and of that we must not be ignorant
So this is the wisdom I gather
Please think about it if you have a daughter

Since childhood days, we read fables about this handsome prince
And how Cindrella's life only changed after she put on that wedding ring
Many girls around me just dreamed of marrying a great guy
Just complete their basic education and begin to try

Right from the beginning, my aunt told me
Keeping the marriage is the woman's responsibility
All this, after herself having a divorced daughter
But, I did'nt want to dip my feet in those waters

Up until a point in life, all I dreamed of was to pop out kids and balance a happy home
All hail the maternal instinct, but are we really all born with that syndrome?
I'm not saying it should'nt be your dream or ambition
I'm just nudging you to re-evaluate your situation

Do you even really know what you want?
I beleive most are just using a standard template and font
They've been indoctrinated with this concept since the beginning
And even if you've had liberating parents, liasions keep imprinting

Somehow you begin to feel the sole purpose of your life
Is to keep your man and kids happy, and that is the only thing nice 
A woman must be patient, compromising and completely adapt in a marriage
And while much of that is simply true, is that your goal ...getting into a carriage?

Nine months ago, I met a woman I absolutely adore
And she narrated few things in absolute candour
This woman is genuinely happy
Yet, people look at her with pity

She lives alone, away from everybody, although she has a loving family
In a country where adult men live with parents, her choice is like blasphemy
Neighbours and everyone around just won't let her be
Too many interrogatory questions and exclaimations perpetually

Sure, at times it can get really lonely
But are you willing to give up freedom wholly?
Unlike the rest of her kind, she's not obsessed with the idea of marriage
It's not like from the fantasy of love and companionship, she's discouraged

She's just not out there trying to find a suitable mate
And it's not because there's nobody in the market to date
She's analyzed her situation
And this is her calculation

She told me she has two diverse pathways
And she's okay going either way
One's about love and catching butterflies
And the other is cogent reasoning with no compromise

The kind of artistic person she is makes her rather romantic
So she's open to embracing love and drowning in that Atlantic
But she'll drown herself in those waters only if she has genuine feelings
It's not like she'll just trod the customary route and let water hit the ceiling

She's not a paranoid person at all
In love, she's not afraid to fall
It's not like she's a recluse or is afraid of being vulnerable
She's just not actively pursuing something that can make her miserable

It's not the holy grail; if it has to happen, it will
She ain't roaming with her checklist to see who fits the bill
She's not looking at people as potential candidates
And she's refused such horrendous activities to delegate

She's a keen observer
Of human behaviour
Over-analyzing and rationalizing
Traits, habits, tendencies, all sans patronizing

But, if ever in life she crosses paths, someday somewhere
Maybe serendipity will have a person waiting right there
But for now, she's not looking to put a marital garland in her neck
It's like willfully walking into a noose or signing a blank cheque

This is the diverse other path she was talking about
And quite honestly, I was attracted to her logic without a doubt
When someone comes up to her, she's logically only thinking value
If she's not mesmerized by love, what value can he bring, is what she reviews

She's pretty organized I'd say, and these are her headings
Housing, finance, emotional, mental, these don't need fulfilling
Then comes companionship and legacy
It's either these that matter or destiny

Okay, let me elaborate on that
Housing and finance, she herself can combat
She's accustomed to handling herself  and manages well with emotional stability
She's only attracted to mentally stimulating talks and intellectual capabilities

But, she makes her own intelligent decisions
She manages her home very well with absolute precision
So the only thing to which a man could contribute
Is by brining in companionship, that you cannot refute

For good companionship, you need compatibility
And as per this one, she's not expecting them to fit perfectly
There'll always be compromise, sacrifice, temperance and differences
Delicately balancing in-laws and everyone's preferences

But without compatibility
There can be no stability
So why drown in the waters of wilful disharmony?
Why the pressure to feel maternal and marry?

Unless he fulfills this sole criteria, what's the point of breeding a legacy?
And then raising them up through discord and conflict unplesantly
Sure, if destiny sanctions, she'd love to be a mother
But she's not actively looking for a sperm donor

Uninterested in courting, she's accustomed to escavating all the red flags
She's not pessimistic, but knows how things worsen, though nobody else tags
Only for real love, she'd be willing to make that exception
Otherwise, what do you bring to my table, is the question

So fall in love and make a compromise
Just so you can feel real with butterflies
Or
Be wise and seek true compatibility
Which is guaranteed to stand the test of time and give you stability

Girls, it's time to learn a lesson from that lady
Be absolutely independent, financially and emotionally
Figure out your housing and develop your mental faculties
Then introspect and reflect if you can really be motherly

Remember, both marriage and parenting require a lot of patience
In neither of these you can afford to ever be complacent
It's about self-sacrifice and pleasing the other
Get pensive; think about it maturely, and yourself you will discover

There's no need to go around chasing men
If and when it's right, God Himself will send
And don't let the psychos scare you about your biological clock
They're just taking advantage to try and get them off, your socks

You don't need a man to make you happy
And if your goal is to change nappies
Just go get yourself a sperm donor
If you're emotionally, mentally and financially secure

Let not finding a man be your holy grail
Everything does not begin or end with the wedding veil
There is so much more in life to experience and discover
Broaden your horizon, and secrets you will uncover

- RUELHA
www.ruelha.com
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That picture was taken after a flight ...when I was 18 years old. 😉 Please don't ask me how long ago that was! 🙂 😉

Disclaimer: This poem is purely literary. Please read it with an open mind and out of respect for the written word. To me, writing is my life. There is nothing I love more. I have a very creative imagination. Most of my poems do not hint at my life/situation. Kindly refrain from drawing such parallels. Much of what I write is purely fictional. Situations and examples may be hypothetical. I have always written about topics I am passionate about – Christianity, makeup, melancholic poetry, food, romance, women’s issues, soulful music, narratives, etc. Given the circumstances, my gender, situation, geography, etc., I feel the need to put up a disclaimer every time I write a romantic/melancholic/intense piece! Everyone is entitled to an opinion. But, please don’t interpret this poem in a disrespectful manner. That is just my humble request. Please extend me the grace of excusing typos if you notice any. I seldom ever edit due to time constraints. My writings may contain material unsuitable for children.