So I caught up with a few acquaintances and girlfriends And finally, few city girls are willing to make amends But before I begin, I must tell you I'm not a feminist With the dilution of the term, I'm not a fundamentalist I believe in equality, but men and women are definitely different Each has a set of uniqueness, and of that we must not be ignorant So this is the wisdom I gather Please think about it if you have a daughter Since childhood days, we read fables about this handsome prince And how Cindrella's life only changed after she put on that wedding ring Many girls around me just dreamed of marrying a great guy Just complete their basic education and begin to try Right from the beginning, my aunt told me Keeping the marriage is the woman's responsibility All this, after herself having a divorced daughter But, I did'nt want to dip my feet in those waters Up until a point in life, all I dreamed of was to pop out kids and balance a happy home All hail the maternal instinct, but are we really all born with that syndrome? I'm not saying it should'nt be your dream or ambition I'm just nudging you to re-evaluate your situation Do you even really know what you want? I beleive most are just using a standard template and font They've been indoctrinated with this concept since the beginning And even if you've had liberating parents, liasions keep imprinting Somehow you begin to feel the sole purpose of your life Is to keep your man and kids happy, and that is the only thing nice A woman must be patient, compromising and completely adapt in a marriage And while much of that is simply true, is that your goal ...getting into a carriage? Nine months ago, I met a woman I absolutely adore And she narrated few things in absolute candour This woman is genuinely happy Yet, people look at her with pity She lives alone, away from everybody, although she has a loving family In a country where adult men live with parents, her choice is like blasphemy Neighbours and everyone around just won't let her be Too many interrogatory questions and exclaimations perpetually Sure, at times it can get really lonely But are you willing to give up freedom wholly? Unlike the rest of her kind, she's not obsessed with the idea of marriage It's not like from the fantasy of love and companionship, she's discouraged She's just not out there trying to find a suitable mate And it's not because there's nobody in the market to date She's analyzed her situation And this is her calculation She told me she has two diverse pathways And she's okay going either way One's about love and catching butterflies And the other is cogent reasoning with no compromise The kind of artistic person she is makes her rather romantic So she's open to embracing love and drowning in that Atlantic But she'll drown herself in those waters only if she has genuine feelings It's not like she'll just trod the customary route and let water hit the ceiling She's not a paranoid person at all In love, she's not afraid to fall It's not like she's a recluse or is afraid of being vulnerable She's just not actively pursuing something that can make her miserable It's not the holy grail; if it has to happen, it will She ain't roaming with her checklist to see who fits the bill She's not looking at people as potential candidates And she's refused such horrendous activities to delegate She's a keen observer Of human behaviour Over-analyzing and rationalizing Traits, habits, tendencies, all sans patronizing But, if ever in life she crosses paths, someday somewhere Maybe serendipity will have a person waiting right there But for now, she's not looking to put a marital garland in her neck It's like willfully walking into a noose or signing a blank cheque This is the diverse other path she was talking about And quite honestly, I was attracted to her logic without a doubt When someone comes up to her, she's logically only thinking value If she's not mesmerized by love, what value can he bring, is what she reviews She's pretty organized I'd say, and these are her headings Housing, finance, emotional, mental, these don't need fulfilling Then comes companionship and legacy It's either these that matter or destiny Okay, let me elaborate on that Housing and finance, she herself can combat She's accustomed to handling herself and manages well with emotional stability She's only attracted to mentally stimulating talks and intellectual capabilities But, she makes her own intelligent decisions She manages her home very well with absolute precision So the only thing to which a man could contribute Is by brining in companionship, that you cannot refute For good companionship, you need compatibility And as per this one, she's not expecting them to fit perfectly There'll always be compromise, sacrifice, temperance and differences Delicately balancing in-laws and everyone's preferences But without compatibility There can be no stability So why drown in the waters of wilful disharmony? Why the pressure to feel maternal and marry? Unless he fulfills this sole criteria, what's the point of breeding a legacy? And then raising them up through discord and conflict unplesantly Sure, if destiny sanctions, she'd love to be a mother But she's not actively looking for a sperm donor Uninterested in courting, she's accustomed to escavating all the red flags She's not pessimistic, but knows how things worsen, though nobody else tags Only for real love, she'd be willing to make that exception Otherwise, what do you bring to my table, is the question So fall in love and make a compromise Just so you can feel real with butterflies Or Be wise and seek true compatibility Which is guaranteed to stand the test of time and give you stability Girls, it's time to learn a lesson from that lady Be absolutely independent, financially and emotionally Figure out your housing and develop your mental faculties Then introspect and reflect if you can really be motherly Remember, both marriage and parenting require a lot of patience In neither of these you can afford to ever be complacent It's about self-sacrifice and pleasing the other Get pensive; think about it maturely, and yourself you will discover There's no need to go around chasing men If and when it's right, God Himself will send And don't let the psychos scare you about your biological clock They're just taking advantage to try and get them off, your socks You don't need a man to make you happy And if your goal is to change nappies Just go get yourself a sperm donor If you're emotionally, mentally and financially secure Let not finding a man be your holy grail Everything does not begin or end with the wedding veil There is so much more in life to experience and discover Broaden your horizon, and secrets you will uncover
- RUELHA www.ruelha.com © Copyright Protected. All Rights Reserved That picture was taken after a flight ...when I was 18 years old. 😉 Please don't ask me how long ago that was! 🙂 😉
Disclaimer: This poem is purely literary. Please read it with an open mind and out of respect for the written word. To me, writing is my life. There is nothing I love more. I have a very creative imagination. Most of my poems do not hint at my life/situation. Kindly refrain from drawing such parallels. Much of what I write is purely fictional. Situations and examples may be hypothetical. I have always written about topics I am passionate about – Christianity, makeup, melancholic poetry, food, romance, women’s issues, soulful music, narratives, etc. Given the circumstances, my gender, situation, geography, etc., I feel the need to put up a disclaimer every time I write a romantic/melancholic/intense piece! Everyone is entitled to an opinion. But, please don’t interpret this poem in a disrespectful manner. That is just my humble request. Please extend me the grace of excusing typos if you notice any. I seldom ever edit due to time constraints. My writings may contain material unsuitable for children.