My ‘Love’ Thesis

Ruelha, 
So this one's the very first.
Without this, your entire relationship will be cursed.
There must be some level of attraction.
Or that ship is sinking in the Bermuda triangle.
Attraction is vital.
At least in the very initial.
Until you form a deeper connection.
To reciprocate with more attention.

There is such a thing as chemistry.
And there truly lies physical compatibility. 
It's not an art or science that can be learned.
Either you have it or you don't. 
Now you're probably wondering about 90% marriages in our country.
Yes, they're arranged and are all those people lonely and hungry?
Well, it's really not that simple.
Let me elaborate more and perhaps I'll see your dimples.

Yes, I'm Christian through and through.
And I'm not suggesting you to do....
Begin your relationship deciphering sexual chemistry.
Because that would be fornication technically.
Besides, hear me out.
I'll clear all your doubts.

It does not stop there.
Three sides to the triangle of despair.
You cannot base your relationship on this alone.
You must be able to take it a step higher to another zone.
Yes, it's important to keep the magic of passion.
Because if it doesn't, you're relationship will die without compassion.

The next one after attraction.
Is making a deeper intimate connection. 
This happens through mature conversations.
The ability to interpret each other without hesitation.
The things you do for each other and with each other.
This one is about all the non sexual things, desires, dreams, temperament and fears.
It is about your mental and emotional compatibility. 
Maybe you can even factor in your beliefs and spirituality.

I'm not saying opposites don't attract.
I'm saying …working with differences is a knack.
Think of it as a skill like situation-handling.
Factor in some compromising and prioritizing. 
Someone who is absolutely selfish and has no understanding. 
Will be unable to conquer this one or be the last one standing.
This one cannot be fake. 
There needs to be genuine interest on the plate.
Otherwise all your life, you'll only wait.
And be miserable for Pete's sake.

And now, the final one.
Let's bring out the big gun.
The word commitment scares people nowadays. 
Especially modern beings are not too much in praise.
Commitment is not such a bad thing.
It brings structure, that dreaded wedding ring.
If you've had attraction and moved on to love in your relationship,
Once you've matched compatibility, it can be great to have companionship.

While the thought of waking up to the same face may seem scary,
it can be soothing to share everything with the same person and be steady.
When you know that irrespective of what happens with/to you outside,
there'll still be someone to love, respect and encourage when you return home, inside.
A someone who is always willing to forgive.
A someone you can trust with everything as long as you live.
A someone who knows you through and through.
Who is proud of your strengths, but knows your weakness too.

I believe these are the three most important components for a successful, lasting, fulfilling, happy relationship.
It begins with attraction, moves on to infatuation, then comes a deeper sense of love and respect. Post this internship...
if there is genuine interest, maturity and true love, compatibility and adjustments become a little easier.
Having a sense of belonging, knowing that there's a warm embrace waiting ...in many ways is far superior.
To always feel a sense of connection and the ability to be yourself.
Away from the wicked world, the ability to shed and lie naked on an open shelf.
That is what commitment brings...
Peace in a lifetime of restlessness, amongst many other things.

A lot of people marry for procreation.
And honestly today, there are better scientific solutions.
There are many who marry for financial stability.
Combined incomes ensuring a better living facility.
There are those who come together for companionship.
And completely miss the butterflies at the beginning of a courtship.
If you have all three components and it feels right,
only then, evaluate and graduate to take the next bite.
-RUELHA 
www.ruelha.com 
© Copyright Protected. All Rights Reserved.
  • Attraction
  • Physical Compatibility
  • Intimacy
  • Desire
  • Interest

*******************************************

  • Love
  • Respect
  • Emotional Compatibility
  • Mental Compatibility
  • Encouragement of Freedom and Growth

*********************************************

  • Sense of Belonging
  • Companionship
  • Definition and Structure
  • Commitment and Fidelity
  • Absolute Trust
And…

I am not a psychologist or a relationship counsellor. I do not hold any degrees or certifications in the topics I post about. These are based solely on my personal opinions, memories and life experiences. I will be doing an entire series on this topic soon. But, I believe human beings require the strength and support of trusted sources and/or counselling at times. Please speak to a certified professional in case you require life advice. This poem is purely literary. Please read it with an open mind and out of respect for the written word. To me, writing is my life. There is nothing I love more. I have a very creative imagination. I have always written from my heart …about topics that I am passionate about – Christianity, makeup, melancholic poetry, food, romance, women’s issues, soulful music, narratives etc. Given the circumstances, my gender, situation, geography etc., I feel the need to put up a disclaimer every time I write a romantic/melancholic piece. Everyone is entitled to an opinion. But, please don’t interpret this poem in a way it was not intended. That is just my humble request. Please refrain from attempting to draw parallels to my life as much of what I write is fiction. Some of my writings may contain material unsuitable for children.

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42 Comments

    1. Thank you Collin. Not really cause I was in a rather pensive mood. 😉 Oh man, the disclaimer….lol…I think I just love writing disclaimers….part of me just likes them….just for the heck of it. 😉 😉 😉

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

  2. A lot of people don’t bother to marry. Well done piece. Are those your sunglasses in the photo. They are cool looking shades.

    Liked by 1 person

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    1. Wow…36 years of togetherness. We have much to learn from you Eileen. May God continue to bless you and may you be an example and a blessing unto all the nations…..Happy Anniversary to both of you. Love and hugs…

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

  4. You share a great many profound and important thoughts here–you offer a lot for one mind to process. But, then, love and relationships and family are complicated. There’s no point in trying to oversimplify. J.

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    1. Absolutely! Relationships, family, human beings and behaviour is so unpredictable. We can analyze and learn patterns and trends, generality…but there is so forecasting, just the ability to be a little better prepared. And then too, most fall off this cliff! 🙂 🙂 🙂

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  5. Oh the thesis is really really good. You scored 💯. 😄😄 Jokes apart, it’s so true that the relationships should be like this, couldn’t agree more!!! The flow made me engage throughout the poem. Well done dear Ru. ❣️❣️❣️❣️

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    1. I’m so glad you liked the flow of this poem Preeths. I hope you find a love so true and a happiness so exhilerating…..whenever the time is right for you, Babygirl. Take care….xoxo

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    1. Absolutely, no matter how well informed and prepared one is, failure can still happen for a variety of causes. It’s easy to do the aftermath but experience is a way better teacher. 🙂

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      1. SMiles Rue What i
        Am Relating Here
        Not Contrary to
        Experience As
        A Better Teacher
        Is in Terms of Love
        Without the
        Warmth Yes
        The Feeling
        No Matter What

        Words

        Say

        Loving

        Actions
        Come From
        Feelings
        First
        And Yes
        It’s Irrefutable
        Science Shows

        Feelings

        First

        Are What
        Precipitate Action Now

        No Matter How
        Many Times

        Folks Say
        Be Kind Those

        Cold Within
        May Talk Yet
        More Rarely Dance

        The

        Song
        Of Kindness

        Easy To See Yes
        In A World Where
        Humans are

        Increasingly

        Becoming

        The

        “Smart
        Tools” They
        Create Where

        The Idea in The
        First Place Was

        More Space

        To Rise Warm
        Not Tools to Fall Cold

        Yet Of Course This

        Coming From An

        Empath hehe

        Go Figure
        Why A Cold
        Analytical
        Priest Would
        Otherwise

        Preach
        Love is
        Neither

        Feeling Or
        Emotion With
        Monotone Voice

        With No Life
        And No

        Window

        To Reach

        Him Either

        For The Place
        Of Truest Human

        Poverty

        He

        Exists Yes
        There Are
        No Bullet
        Lists For

        Love

        The Fire
        Within

        Makes
        What’s
        Real Most
        Happen Next

        The Human Touch
        Love The Warmth

        That

        Moves
        Human EartH🌏❤️

        Is Their Above And
        Beyond in Spirit

        Yes

        Yet
        Most
        Folks
        Live On Earth

        As Cold or Warm
        Grains Of Sand Now😊

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        Reply

    1. Wow, a doctorate! Thank you so much Srikanth. I really want it on paper too ya, like a certificate that I can show off. 😉 🙂
      Thank you so much for reading and appreciating. 🙂

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      Reply

  10. Rueeellllhaaaaa, your simply brilliant. I mean so good. That made quite some sense. ❤️Perfect! Love the way you articulate. Love what you write, it’s so truthful and honest.

    Love you girlll❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
    Keep up the fab stuff 👍👍👍

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  11. Rueeellllhaaaaa, your simply brilliant. I mean so good. That made quite some sense. ❤️Perfect! Love the way you articulate. Love what you write, it’s so truthful and honest. Very nice 😘

    Love you girlll❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
    Keep up the fab stuff 👍👍👍

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    1. Saaaaaaaaammmmmmmmy, I’m so happy you like my poems…It means a lot to me, coming from you, sista….Thanks for the encouragement, always.
      Love you lottttttttssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss.

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      Reply
  17. Pingback: If I Die Young… – Ruelha

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