So this one's the very first. Without this, your entire relationship will be cursed. There must be some level of attraction. Or that ship is sinking in the Bermuda triangle. Attraction is vital. At least in the very initial. Until you form a deeper connection. To reciprocate with more attention. There is such a thing as chemistry. And there truly lies physical compatibility. It's not an art or science that can be learned. Either you have it or you don't. Now you're probably wondering about 90% marriages in our country. Yes, they're arranged and are all those people lonely and hungry? Well, it's really not that simple. Let me elaborate more and perhaps I'll see your dimples. Yes, I'm Christian through and through. And I'm not suggesting you to do.... Begin your relationship deciphering sexual chemistry. Because that would be fornication technically. Besides, hear me out. I'll clear all your doubts. It does not stop there. Three sides to the triangle of despair. You cannot base your relationship on this alone. You must be able to take it a step higher to another zone. Yes, it's important to keep the magic of passion. Because if it doesn't, you're relationship will die without compassion. The next one after attraction. Is making a deeper intimate connection. This happens through mature conversations. The ability to interpret each other without hesitation. The things you do for each other and with each other. This one is about all the non sexual things, desires, dreams, temperament and fears. It is about your mental and emotional compatibility. Maybe you can even factor in your beliefs and spirituality. I'm not saying opposites don't attract. I'm saying …working with differences is a knack. Think of it as a skill like situation-handling. Factor in some compromising and prioritizing. Someone who is absolutely selfish and has no understanding. Will be unable to conquer this one or be the last one standing. This one cannot be fake. There needs to be genuine interest on the plate. Otherwise all your life, you'll only wait. And be miserable for Pete's sake. And now, the final one. Let's bring out the big gun. The word commitment scares people nowadays. Especially modern beings are not too much in praise. Commitment is not such a bad thing. It brings structure, that dreaded wedding ring. If you've had attraction and moved on to love in your relationship, Once you've matched compatibility, it can be great to have companionship. While the thought of waking up to the same face may seem scary, it can be soothing to share everything with the same person and be steady. When you know that irrespective of what happens with/to you outside, there'll still be someone to love, respect and encourage when you return home, inside. A someone who is always willing to forgive. A someone you can trust with everything as long as you live. A someone who knows you through and through. Who is proud of your strengths, but knows your weakness too. I believe these are the three most important components for a successful, lasting, fulfilling, happy relationship. It begins with attraction, moves on to infatuation, then comes a deeper sense of love and respect. Post this internship... if there is genuine interest, maturity and true love, compatibility and adjustments become a little easier. Having a sense of belonging, knowing that there's a warm embrace waiting ...in many ways is far superior. To always feel a sense of connection and the ability to be yourself. Away from the wicked world, the ability to shed and lie naked on an open shelf. That is what commitment brings... Peace in a lifetime of restlessness, amongst many other things. A lot of people marry for procreation. And honestly today, there are better scientific solutions. There are many who marry for financial stability. Combined incomes ensuring a better living facility. There are those who come together for companionship. And completely miss the butterflies at the beginning of a courtship. If you have all three components and it feels right, only then, evaluate and graduate to take the next bite.
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- Physical Compatibility
- Emotional Compatibility
- Mental Compatibility
- Encouragement of Freedom and Growth
- Sense of Belonging
- Definition and Structure
- Commitment and Fidelity
- Absolute Trust
I am not a psychologist or a relationship counsellor. I do not hold any degrees or certifications in the topics I post about. These are based solely on my personal opinions, memories and life experiences. I will be doing an entire series on this topic soon. But, I believe human beings require the strength and support of trusted sources and/or counselling at times. Please speak to a certified professional in case you require life advice. This poem is purely literary. Please read it with an open mind and out of respect for the written word. To me, writing is my life. There is nothing I love more. I have a very creative imagination. I have always written from my heart …about topics that I am passionate about – Christianity, makeup, melancholic poetry, food, romance, women’s issues, soulful music, narratives etc. Given the circumstances, my gender, situation, geography etc., I feel the need to put up a disclaimer every time I write a romantic/melancholic piece. Everyone is entitled to an opinion. But, please don’t interpret this poem in a way it was not intended. That is just my humble request. Please refrain from attempting to draw parallels to my life as much of what I write is fiction. Some of my writings may contain material unsuitable for children.