I'm tired of being the one on standby. The one who always willingly complies. The one whom people know they can bank on. The one who always has a shoulder available to cry on. The one who drops everything immediately like fun. Just so that someone else can be accommodated, I run. I'm tired of being that person. I want to become so busy. That I no longer care about anybody. So I don't have the time to think. About my life or even existing. Careful what you wish for. Don't go knocking on that door. I know; but I've thought this through. I don't want to be everyone's caretaker in their zoo. I want to become so busy. That nothing else appeals to me. I want to be so busy. With no time for fear, I'll be carefree. I want to be on my own. And enjoy my company alone. I don't want to think or care. Or to anybody my soul to bare. I don't expect an iota of compassion. And I don't expect feelings and passion. I just want to be selfish and alone. And bask in the presence of my own I don't want to make space for anybody. Just live my life, to me accordingly. I want to breathe these breaths. Without interference and depth. I just want to be alone. And wander in my zone. I want to be so busy. That I don't even feel hungry. I don't want to care about anybody. That way nobody can ever hurt me. I want to be impolite. And not afraid to fight. I want to bid the old self goodbye. And be nobody's standby. I don't want to return crawling. When all their actions do is mocking. I don't want to feel pity or sorry. I don't want to make undeserving apologies. I want to be on my own. Stress-free to feel and roam. I don't want human beings around. Not even a drop of a pin's sound. I want to make myself a priority. And not give that pedestal to anybody. I'm tired of being on standby. To all people, I now say goodbye. It's going to be a two way street. I'm tired of being all nice and sweet. Respect and courtesy will only be. If I am on their list of priorities.
-RUELHA www.ruelha.com © Copyright Protected. All Rights Reserved.
This poem is purely literary. Please read it with an open mind and out of respect for the written word. To me, writing is my life. There is nothing I love more. I have a very creative imagination. I have always written from my heart …about topics that I am passionate about – Christianity, makeup, melancholic poetry, food, romance, women’s issues, soulful music, narratives etc. Given the circumstances, my gender, situation, geography etc., I feel the need to put up a disclaimer every time I write a romantic/melancholic piece. Everyone is entitled to an opinion. But, please don’t interpret this poem in a way it was not intended. That is just my humble request. Please refrain from attempting to draw parallels to my life as much of what I write is fiction. Some of my writings may contain material unsuitable for children.