Standby

Ruelha, 
I'm tired of being the one on standby.
The one who always willingly complies.
The one whom people know they can bank on.
The one who always has a shoulder available to cry on.
The one who drops everything immediately like fun.
Just so that someone else can be accommodated, I run.
I'm tired of being that person.
I want to become so busy.
That I no longer care about anybody.
So I don't have the time to think.
About my life or even existing.
Careful what you wish for.
Don't go knocking on that door.
I know; but I've thought this through.
I don't want to be everyone's caretaker in their zoo.
I want to become so busy.
That nothing else appeals to me.
I want to be so busy.
With no time for fear, I'll be carefree.
I want to be on my own.
And enjoy my company alone.
I don't want to think or care.
Or to anybody my soul to bare.
I don't expect an iota of compassion.
And I don't expect feelings and passion.
I just want to be selfish and alone.
And bask in the presence of my own
I don't want to make space for anybody.
Just live my life, to me accordingly.
I want to breathe these breaths.
Without interference and depth.
I just want to be alone.
And wander in my zone.
I want to be so busy.
That I don't even feel hungry.
I don't want to care about anybody.
That way nobody can ever hurt me.
I want to be impolite.
And not afraid to fight.
I want to bid the old self goodbye.
And be nobody's standby.
I don't want to return crawling.
When all their actions do is mocking.
I don't want to feel pity or sorry.
I don't want to make undeserving apologies.
I want to be on my own.
Stress-free to feel and roam.
I don't want human beings around.
Not even a drop of a pin's sound.
I want to make myself a priority.
And not give that pedestal to anybody.
I'm tired of being on standby.
To all people, I now say goodbye.
It's going to be a two way street.
I'm tired of being all nice and sweet.
Respect and courtesy will only be.
If I am on their list of priorities.

-RUELHA 
www.ruelha.com 
© Copyright Protected. All Rights Reserved.

This poem is purely literary. Please read it with an open mind and out of respect for the written word. To me, writing is my life. There is nothing I love more. I have a very creative imagination. I have always written from my heart …about topics that I am passionate about – Christianity, makeup, melancholic poetry, food, romance, women’s issues, soulful music, narratives etc. Given the circumstances, my gender, situation, geography etc., I feel the need to put up a disclaimer every time I write a romantic/melancholic piece. Everyone is entitled to an opinion. But, please don’t interpret this poem in a way it was not intended. That is just my humble request. Please refrain from attempting to draw parallels to my life as much of what I write is fiction. Some of my writings may contain material unsuitable for children.

30 Comments

  3. Quite powerful, and considerably catching in terms of relatability. That’s the ideal of poetry and prose, right? To capture the feelings we all have and forcing us to look it in the eye? Lovely work, evocative.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    1. Thank you so much brother Matt. Although this poem is not about my life, I really appreciate the blessings, kind wishes and good thoughts.
      Love and hugs….always,
      Rue

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      Reply

  7. Love your poem Rue!
    Taking care of ourselves is so important and until we can do that it’s best not to be on standby I agree. These are easy words to say but harder to do but I hope you’ll give yourself space and time if these are even true.
    Good to see you friend!
    💖

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    1. Thank you Cindy 🙂
      If these are even true…..
      I case I find myself in such a situation, I’ll remember your kind advice, my loving friend. I agree, if we don’t love and respect ourselves first, how can we pour out love for others?
      Love, love and lotttttttts more love to ya. xoxo

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      Reply

      1. You’re soooo welcome!!!
        Yes if these are even true 🤩
        We all hit these places from time to time no matter who we are… even Ghandi, Jesus, Buddha and all great leaders needed a break.
        True true and love love back to you dear friend Rue!
        🌷💖🌷🤗

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    1. Thank you Umi. I agree, anyone experiencing these emotions must leave everything to appreciate oneself. This however, is fictional to me. But, I love your care and concern. Hugs.

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  12. Nope i’ll Never Give
    Up On Giving
    Love No
    Matter
    What my
    Mother Never
    Gave up on
    me All The
    Eternal Seconds
    Minutes Days Years
    i Spent in Hell Then

    She

    Died

    This Is
    How i Resurrect
    Her Soul in me

    Everyday

    i’m Almost
    Positive That’s
    How Jesus Did it too

    Greatest

    Lesson

    We Will

    Leave Is

    Never

    Give

    Up On Give

    This Is How

    Love

    Never Dies…Rue🤗

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