When I was introduced to you, I really didn't back then knew. How insanely crazy I'd become, Without caring about anyone. It started small. Felt better than alcohol. Happiness in my veins. Life will never be the same. That same feeling, I began to crave. Knowing it was taking me to my grave. I could see myself falling. For a whiff, I'd come to you crawling. I began with such small doses. Yet quickly without any notice. You were flowing in my veins. Triggering dopamine in my brains. I went about my daily chores. At home and even outdoors. But every second I craved for you. Seeking you in every avenue. How did I lose myself? Fall to the floor from my bookshelf. I was so much more. Life left to explore. But now, all I do. Is wait for you. To inject and feel. Even joy in a meal. Because now, I'm addicted. Bowed to your altar, I've submitted. My logic and my reasoning. Willfully surrendered; what is happening? This composition I crave. Will take me to my grave. I know it's not logical. But, to turn back now - impossible. It's too late to look the other way. Because I need you in my system. I want to be good and look away. Maybe I'll figure how to do that someday. For now, I lay in reckless greed. Just a drop will intercede. Trigger the dopamine in my brain. And take away this restless pain. I implore, just a few more drops. A last one more, and I'll try to stop. I know I'm already addicted. Otherwise, my lungs feel constricted. I thought I'd take some time. Just a little bit, what's the crime? But nothing else brings joy. My body is now your toy. Just a few drops. To revive my alive corpse. Your residue in my veins. Teasing with tantalizing pains. I've come to acceptance. There's no scope for redemption. I do not own my faculties. I lay like a morbid casualty. More and more drops. To make this feeling stop. Why did I ever begin? such a terrible sin. I'm addicted to this chaos. Little drops of you, now my boss. Injected with you, I can feel. My secret Achilles heel. To the world, I seem normal. I go about my jobs without quarrel. But the conflict within. Pokes like a thousand pins. I'm addicted. Myself, I have convicted. I don't even have the desire. To detox and rewire. I feel you in my veins. Pulsating worse than labour pains. My freedom and control. My body and soul. So, until I'm locked away. I'll continue to behave this way. My willpower is lost. At such a meagre cost. I'm already addicted. At your altar, I've submitted. I burn the remnants of my life. Not expecting from you any respite. - RUELHA www.ruelha.com © Copyright Protected. All Rights Reserved
This poem is purely literary. Please read it with an open mind and out of respect for the written word. To me, writing is my life. There is nothing I love more. I have a very creative imagination. I have always written from my heart …about topics that I am passionate about – Christianity, makeup, melancholic poetry, food, romance, women’s issues, soulful music, narratives etc. Given the circumstances, my gender, situation, geography etc, I feel the need to put up a disclaimer every time I write a romantic/melancholic piece. I have never consumed any form of drug in my entire life and feel strongly against it. I am definitely not an addict. I refrain from consuming antibiotics or any form of medication including paracetamols. I don’t remember the last time I popped a pill. Everyone is entitled to an opinion. But, please don’t interpret this poem in a way it was not intended. That is just my humble request.
Some of my writings may contain material unsuitable for children.