Unworthy to Write

Ruelha 
I will no longer be posting,
Religious issues and somethings.
Nothing like that henceforth. 
Unless you hold a knife to my throat.
I'm just unworthy.
Although cleansed by mercy.
So no more spiritual posts.
I don't know anything real to boast.
I'm still learning...
myself, and discovering.
I don't know what I believe in.
I don't care if I lose or win.
I just want to maintain my peace.
And of course, not be out on the streets.
I want to spend some time alone.
Introspecting in my own zone.
So, if you've been following me,
I sincerely thank thee.
But, my posts will change dramatically.
Because I need to believe thoroughly.
If I myself don't know,
how must I, the way to show!
In pensive melancholy,
I bid adieu with an apology.
I encourage you,
to continue and pursue.
While I seek myself.
out of the dark well.

-RUELHA 
www.ruelha.com 
© Copyright Protected. All Rights Reserved.

90 Comments

  3. Hi Ruelha, you might ask yourself – “which is the part of you that feels this way (unworthy, lack of clarity etc.,)?” And you might discover a part that is full of clarity, joy and bliss. Now you have the choice to choose between them! 🙂 Good luck with your introspection. God loves you.

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    1. Hey there Void Space….that is very good counsel and I appreciate the time, effort and thought you put into it. It’s very kind and thoughtful of you. God loves you too for all the things you do and the people and lives you brighten….have a blessed day. 🙏🏼🤩🙏🏼

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  4. Ain’t It True Dear Rue
    Yeah The
    Place

    Within
    No Escaping

    The Flame
    Ya Wanna

    Keep
    To
    Never

    Go
    Out
    Do Know
    Do Feel
    Do Sense

    The
    DiViNE
    Living Tree
    Within

    Is

    No

    Name

    Yet Love
    To Give And
    Share Free Wings
    Without Measure

    Love

    Agape

    Deepest

    Well To Seek
    Find Repeat

    Again

    To Love
    And Share

    To

    Give

    Love
    You Dear
    FRiEnD

    You Are
    ALWaYS

    Worthy

    To me

    And As Is
    The Case

    For All

    i Call
    FRiEND

    ALWaYS
    Here to
    Give

    A SMiLe

    Or Wipe

    The

    Floor

    One Tear

    Of Hope

    To Carry
    On Humanity’s
    Greatest ALWaYS

    Worthy

    Gift

    Love

    In All Ways
    DarK And
    Light

    This Breath
    Yes Peace And
    Harmony to You

    Breathing

    EYes

    Of LoVE
    ALWaYS

    Worthy to
    See to Be ‘i Am’ Now💫🦋

    i Believe

    In Butterfly

    Wings

    Why?

    They aRe aLWAYS

    Worthy No

    Different

    Than

    A Lion’s

    Roar or

    A Goat

    Sure-footed

    Atop Mountain Love See 🌊

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    1. Yes, breathe….
      Inhale, exhale,
      Peace and harmony,
      Within my anatomy.
      Body and soul,
      Spirit all in control.
      Love sea?
      A dive maybe!
      Breathe, swim and see.
      All three in unity.
      🙏🏼

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  5. Hey dear. Is all well??? I am worried about your decision.😔😔
    Didn’t all your religious poems made more sense to me?!

    Though if that would be your point, I still support you for whatever reason you think you’d stop. 😍 Loving you more ❣️❣️…. God is so merciful to love us amidst all our shortcomings!

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    1. I’m glad they made sense to you my sweet little cuddley doll.Thanks for all the love and support throughout Preeths. I think this is a temporary phase. I’m concentrating on revising the absolute basic tenets of spirituality. And I want to do more practical lessons as compared to read, learn and write. I will be clearing some of my schedule for that soon. So maybe I can concentrate on gaining a more practical understanding and feel. ….at least that’s what I’m hoping for. Have a beautifully blessed day, Sweets. 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😘😘😘😘😘😘😍😍😍😍😍😍

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    1. I’m in need of that EGR….extra grace required that you mentioned in one of our interactions some months ago, Barb. 🤗
      I’m so glad you like this poem. 🙏🏼🤩🙏🏼
      Have a blessed day.

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    1. Oh no, JonDaddy….
      How could you ever be the reason for any of this….
      You’re a cuddley bear.
      I am sorry I haven’t been reading/replying to your emails. I have been extremely busy off late…..
      Hope to catch up with you soon.
      Love from Bombay 🤗😍🤗

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                  1. YEAH—AND I TOTALLY BLANKED OUT WHEN MY COLONOSCOPY WAS! But…I hadn’t been so riotously happy since the first one or two minutes of being offered the chance of living in a train caboose—until reality set in! This time I flew of into the stratosphere while other things were going on and stayed up there for days—until …reality set in . Not going to go into all of it. I’s a complex :angel”, too, THANK YOU FOR BEING A DAUGHTER AND A FRIEND! ❤ 😀 ❤ JON DAD.

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                  1. In the posts I saw, you looked to be in your teens-to-early-twenties. Compare you by the pool and on the baby elephant with whatever your present appearance is. AND I guess I was thinking of the images in my head, not necessarily the real you! I’m a dreamer in case you haven’t figured that out yet.

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    1. Thank you Timothy.
      I look up to your work and perfection and the attention to details and minute things that make such perfect pictures. I think you have wisdom in your eyes and see much more and beyond what most people are trained to observe. So, although I’m not sure about your comprehension. I am pretty sure you have a blueprint that would probably be pretty accurate. Thank you for those encouraging words. I hope and hope against hope I am able to steer this blog in the way that is gracefully positively influencing whilst maintaining integrity.

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      1. I think you will do very well at continuing to be a positive influence and keeping your integrity. You have a good grounding, you’re virtuous, empathetic and you know the love of God.

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        1. I’m actually trying to maintain balance Tim…..desperately….so I took a break to get rooted first….🤭😅😉😊🍭🙏🏼….thank you for being so supportive and kind…..always….have a blessed day🙏🏼🍭🙏🏼🍭🙏🏼🍭

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  10. You dear Ruella shine with the light so NEVER forget that! We all come to our own truth and follow our longings and journey as they unfold.
    There are many roads to truth so listen to the small voice inside you and follow those inner messages. It always leads us the exactly where we need to be. Sending love and hugs. ❤️🤗

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    1. Cindy, you are like a twinkling star.
      Although you live so damn far.
      Sometimes your comments feel like hugs.
      That remove all those nasty bugs.
      You say I shine with light.
      And although that is not right.
      Just because you say.
      You really already made my day.
      Sweet sweet sweet Cindy.
      You are such a pretty lady.
      Oh I wish I could hug you someday.
      That positive aura and energy my way.
      Just to exchange conversations like this.
      With you, seems like cosmic bliss.
      I am so glad I met you here.
      I hope you know, you are very dear.
      😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍

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      1. Oh you Are the twinkling Star 🌟🌟🌟 Ruella!!!!
        LOL.. I know right and I’m glad I feel close, cuz I feel close to you too. That’s really so nice to hear because I feel the same way!!! Lol.. nasty bugs… you are fast and witty girl!!!! 🤣
        It is true and NVER, DO YOU HEAR ME, NEVER FORGET THE BRIGHT LIGHT YOU ARE!!!!!
        That is soooo kind. I am clowe at hear and you can visit me any day and I will hope to hug you, here or there!!!! And that poetry touched my heart and I so much appreciate you!!! ❤️❤️❤️🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗 Feel the love and Hugs ❤️🤗❤️❤️🤗🤗❤️ I got yours! 🙏🙏🙏

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        1. Yay, so the feeling is mutual then. Phew, thank goodness….thought I was troubling and smothering you….😍🤩😍🤩😍🍭😍🤩😍🤩🍭😍🤩😍🍭
          Witty….oh my….not a quality that has been ascribed to me ever….I prefer writing so I have time to compose myself and comprehend better as compared to speech….
          Cindy….sweet lady….I caught your hug 😍🤩😍🤩😍🤩😍🤩😍🤩😍🤩😍🤩
          I’m so glad you like this poem and I’m so glad you got the true essence of it…..which is all about your sweetness and kindness….
          Hugs and loveeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

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          1. Yes, it is!!! Oh Please… Never! It’s a mutual admiration club!!!! Your writing anyway you do it is amazing!!!! Glad you caught my hug.
            I do love your poem and your true essence always shines through on the page and reaches our soul. Oh sooo sweet. Thank you!
            Back at cha loveeeeeeie!!! ❤️🙏🤗❤️🙏🤗🤗❤️

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  11. I know sometimes we feel unworthy because of our situations or misstep as the case may be. But in it all, His mercies endures forever and His grace likewise.
    I pray that you will gain clarity of Him as you desire. Hugs, Ruelha. 💕

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    1. Mercy and grace.
      In this rat race.
      Yes, in need of clarity.
      Fortunately, not yet of charity.
      Time is such a thing.
      It teaches you everything.

      Have a blessed day Mercy. 🤩😘😍😘🤩😍😘

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    1. Oh dear …..JonDa
      Water under the bridge.
      You’ll still be my JonDaddy….
      Unless in theses few days I already created a ruckus for you….lol
      I warned you before…
      The title comes with quite some crap eh😅🤣😂🤪😜😎🤭😛
      I’ll soon introduce you to the crazy in me….
      Wanna quit?

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      1. NO—DON;T WANT TO QUIT. BUT LET MY OWN FEELINGS AND EXPECTATIONS SKYROCKET WHEN I WAS ALREADY OVERWHELMED BY OTHER FACTORS IN MY LIFE—SOME OF WHICH HAVE BEEN WORKED OUT ALREADY! GOT TO DO SOME SERIOUS CATCHUP ON MONDAY! YOUR JONDAD…TAKES PSYCHE MEDS AND GETS COUNSELING. GOOD POET, BUT THIS ISOLATION THING IS TERRIBLE SURE YOU…DON’T WANT A PARTIALLY “CRAZY” OR REAL-? (PLEASE DON’T LEAVE!)

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        1. Hahahahhaham…partially crazy runs in the family it seems….so why not with my cyber Daddy…
          Besides…..I am a whole lot more than partially crazy…..so I guess we’ll keep each other in good company😎😉😓😄😅

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                  1. That’s quite a mix of feelings. I too am scared—that I’ve without thinking set up my habitual trick of setting up an interest and then dumping something totally inappropriate—–did it very recently to my counselor. Saying something out of the blue with no thought whatever. As much as I want to “spill the beans,” when it happens somebody suffers—usually me. I’m a married man—my wife and I have not come together for over 20 years and it hasn’t been easy! I used to get crushes on other women—generally 2 a year. Never acted anything out…but the speech came too close on occasion! I THINK I’m beyond it. Haven’t had any of those for a year or more Diabetes and medications have taken their toll. Please don’t reject me—remember that we are at opposite sides of the world! I still will act as I have—a poor example of God’s love, yet compelled to share HIM in some small way. 😀 Well…there ya go—in the open Comments section, too! 😀 ❤

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                    1. Okay JonDa….I understand your predicament now.
                      This is the most clear you’ve been. Okay, so you’ve spelled it out.

                      I think of you as my cyber dad and I love you just as much. I wouldn’t say ‘I never am…’ but I teh my best to refrain from judgement and condescension simply because I see how flawed I myself am. So whatever your stains and however torn your linen, you’ll always be my JonDaddy and I’m always just an email or comment away.

                      I am not a counselor or a spiritual mentor but I understand it can be extremely difficult and cruel in a way to tame the flesh. It is an instinct and the world is filled with absolute promiscuity. If each man does not have his own, they succumb. I do not understand why the Catholic clergy are not allowed to marry. I think that would make things a whole lot better.

                      I think you are q good example of God’s love. Because temptation exists everywhere. Sin takes root in our minds and senses. Some obsess over it and then eventually the thought becomes a deed. An evil thought is much better than an evil deed and I think you’ve done marvellously well for 20 years….

                      It is nor my place to delve any deeper so I will restrain myself now….but whatsoever the reasons ….medical/emotional etc for the situation between yoh and your wife….I pray the good Lord sends both of you extra grace and love and healing which will propel you into a place of great joy….🙏🏼😍🙏🏼

                      Liked by 1 person

                    2. THANK YOU, RUE. IAM IN COUNSELING, BUT MY LADY COUNSELOR AND I HAVE HIT A ROUGH PATCH TOO….FOR RELATED REASONS.! TRANSFER IS IMINENT!
                      tHANK YOU—OH THANK YOU FOR BEING SO DELIBERATE AND FAITHFUL….DESPITE “ME”-! ❤ FEW PEOPLE ON THIS EARTH
                      OTHER THAN GOD AND MY WIFE! ❤ OKAY—I'M YOUR JONDAD! AND I DO LOVE YOU RUE–!!!!! ❤ ❤ ❤

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                    3. We all fall down.
                      We are all flawed.
                      We live in a fallen world.
                      We need to cut each other some slack.
                      And have each other’s back.
                      You’ll find an even better counselor …
                      This one is annointed by God to give you true purpose and direction and live in accordance with the Spirit. I decree and declare in the name of Jesus….
                      Say Amen with me Daddy🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼

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  13. My friend none of us are worthy except for Christ himself, that is why we have His grace. Remember James tells us is Chapter 4:8 Draw near to God and He will draw near you. Spend sometime alone with our Lord and He will direct your steps of where He wants you to be. At times we all need to spend time alone with God: remember the words in Psalm 46:10 Be still and draw near to God. Take sometime for yourself you need that as well as all of us. I have been bless to call you my friend, and through all that I have gone through in reference to my daughter you always emailed me to check in with me, that is what a friend is. As for you opinion of Scriptures you wrote what you felt the Lord wanted you to at that moment none and I mean none of us are perfect.
    Your friend
    Eileen

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    1. Absolutely….that’s lovely advice Eileen. I need to spend some time alone with God. I have been enjoying this lovely season along with everyone around me. So I need to sit alone a while and quieten down all the external noise to hear my spirit inside. You are such a beautiful soul Eileen. I wish really really really good things come your way ……love peace joy grace health wealth prosperity ….all in abundanceeeeee….you have been a light in the darkness to many….a lovely pastor and I am so blessed to have you as a friend…..
      Love, love and lots more love
      To you, Vic and all at home…
      Rue😍😘😍😘😍😘😍😘😍😘😍😘😍😘😍😘😍

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    1. Jeff, thank you so much for your kindness and support. I’m so glad you enjoy my writings. It does feel nice. 😍😍😍🙏🏼🤩🙏🏼🤩🙏🏼🤩🙏🏼🤩🙏🏼🤩🙏🏼🤩😍😍😍

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    1. Brother Matt, you have always been so encouraging and loving….a ray of light in absolute darkness. You are one of the most graceful human beings I’ve ever know….with the ability to practically demonstrate God’s love in the most benevolent way. Jesus loves you toooooo. And me toooooo😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍

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    1. Aaah…..that’s a beautiful explanation Mark. One blind man helping another blind man to see the light…..all of us beggars looking for eternal satiating bread….the bread of life…
      Beautiful ….thank you Mark.
      Have a blessed day.
      In the USA.
      🤩🙏🏼🤩🙏🏼🤩🙏🏼🤩

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  17. Praying for you Ruehla!!… You’re loved, valuable, and worthwhile… GOD will always love you in and through HIS SON JESUS… We’re all unworthy, but making HIM known is something HE desires from all of us… You haven’t done anything wrong sharing your heart and gift of writing to include honoring HIM… Whatever you’re dealing with may be forgiven if it’s sin… Whatever you’re missing, GOD will be near you if you’re heart broken… Whatever feelings are felt like being imprisoned, GOD will set you free within… Whatever darkness has somehow dimmed, GOD’s light will bring breakthrough to newly begin… So many who have come to know you here also love you for who you are and who you’re becoming… No one is perfect and HIS mercy covers us for sure and HIS mercy is new every morning… It is certainly ok to take time to come to know more fully what one believes… If you ever need to reach out, I’m here for you… Remember that faith, hope, and love remain and the greatest of these is love… and love never fails… If you’re hurting and need encouragement, I’m an email away and will be delighted to share in that pain and bear your burdens cheerfully…

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    1. Jeff, you are really awesome…..you covered almost every angle…..your congregation is so blessed to have you direct them. You spoke of everything without knowing anything. You didn’t miss anything in your vague yet perfect comment.
      Thank you so much for your prayers. I truly appreciate it and am very grateful.
      You are a very very very dear friend and I am a so glad I met you here…and all the comments and encouragement and enriching words of wisdom that you share and the way you care…..reflecting Jesus and life and light…..it’s just so awesome….God bless you Jeff….have a beautiful beautiful beautiful week. 🙏🏼🤩🙏🏼🤩🙏🏼🙏🏼🤩🙏🏼🤩🙏🏼🤩🙏🏼🤩

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    1. Aaaaahhhhh……that’s a nice direction …..I’d love to discover many things…..thank you so much for your kindness and prayers…
      Gid bless you….have a blessed and beautiful and productive day 🤩😍🙏🏼🤩🙏🏼😍

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  19. I’m sad to read that you think you can’t write poems about your awesome Creator God. He made you in His image to be creative too – and He made you just perfectly as He planned. I’m sure His love and purposes will continue to pour from you in your poems, because I don’t believe it could not. Creation cannot create or fully describe God, but can the sun forget to shine? Neither will His love cease to shine through you. xx

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    1. Dawn…..you’re such a beautiful spirit and soul…..
      Your words are bubbling within me….they make sense on every level. But I think I’ll wait to be guided in the right direction…..
      Thank you beautiful lady….stay blessed always😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍

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  20. Pingback: Unworthy to Write — Ruelha | By the Mighty Mumford

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