My Biggest Fears

Ever since I was a little girl I had the same three fears.
Even the mention of these would take me from fourth to first gear.
The first fear was that of going to hell,
and never getting out of that mortifying cell.
I always wore a scapular around my neck,
or even tied to my inner garments like a mental wreck.
I never really was prepared for death.
Just one scapular on my body to make me feel all set.
I always had extras on hand,
every handbag, wallet, under the pillow, just everywhere they'd land.
In addition to those, I kept at least ten more,
safely in a box like my personal store.
Are you familiar with the Mount Carmel scapular?
Anyone dying wearing this shall not suffer eternal fire.
These are the words inscribed on it.
A promise to save me from that damned pit.
Sure, it coaxed me to want to be good.
But more than that, I never really understood.
Needless to say, I am not anymore obsessed.
Because I walk in the Spirit, and I am blessed.
I don't fear hell anymore.
I hide behind His righteousness, the cross He bore.

And my second fear has forever been darkness.
Right from childhood I feared what could lie beyond.
Evil spirits, demons and well...
all those ugly things from hell.
Up until a few years ago,
I'd just freeze, unable to move, you know.
If there was a power cut ever,
which is quite frequent out here...
I'd lay still and wait like a mannequin,
without batting an eyelid, for the generator/backup to kick in.
It almost felt like a heart attack every time.
But today I've gotten over that fear of the night time.
The ghosts in the dark,
don't scare me or leave a mark.
I've wrestled hard with the ones,
whose names from whom, many may just run.

Then my third fear is that of reptiles.
Those creepy crawlies and their icky projectiles.
Even a baby lizard would scare me good.
It's not logical; I myself never really understood.
Snakes, I get it.
But lizards, even I don't know how to sell it.
Anyway, I never really consciously worked on this fear.
Maybe someday, when I have lesser things on my plate, okay dear!
The real thing to fear is actually mankind,
entwined with the the one who hides behind in disguise, the true mastermind!
But then, why should I fear?
When God is with me right here!
This life is just temporary.
What can a mortal man  do to me? 

- RUELHA

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